Prime’s Spicy Pasta and Cheese v1
This is definitely not a healthy choice family meal. It’s probably a bazillion calories, but worth the cheesy goodness once in awhile. How unhealthy? Well, it’s based on Paula Dean’s Crock Pot Mac and Cheese. Anyone that has ever looked at Paula Dean recipes will know that low-calorie / low-carb is not really her trademark. That being said, you could modify her recipe some to decrease the calorie count – but that just didn’t sound like fun at all this Saturday. Let’s start with the ingredients. This is for a double batch to serve up about 8+ servings. I trust you can do the math to do a single batch:
- 1/2 gallon of spiced rum (Admiral Nelson or Captain Morgans are excellent choices)
- 1 liter of Diet Coke
- 4 cups of your favorite short cut pasta. I used sea shells – macaroni bores me, but it is traditional
- 8 tablespoons of butter (seriously Paula Dean? 8? We’re going to have a heart attack)
- 5 cups shredded cheese. I used Tillamook Sharp Cheddar
- 4 eggs (Paula says 6 – I don’t see the need for that many. Eggs could be completely ommited)
- 1 cup sour cream
- 2 cans (10.75 oz) condensed cheese soup
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 2 cups whole milk
- 1 teaspoon dry mustard
- 1 teaspoon cracked peppercorn
- 1 teaspoon garlic powder
- 1/2 teaspoon all spice
- 1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper sauce
- 1 teaspoon chili oil
- 1 teaspoon Sriracha rooster sauce (cock sauce)
- Fill a cup with ice and pour half spiced rum and half Diet Coke (or your favorite Cola type product). This is an optional step, but in my opinion, one of the most important. No matter how badly your Prime’s Spicy Pasta and Cheese v1 turns out you’ll likely not care after having a few cocktails.
- In a large pan, boil the macaroni in water for six minutes and drain. The pasta will be cooking in the crock pot in cheesey goodness and will soften up some while hopefully not becoming mush.
- Reusing the large pan, mix the butter, cheese, and cheese soup until the cheese melts.
- Combine all the other ingredients in to the cheese mixture. Depending on how hot your mixture is you may want to temper the eggs so they don’t start cooking immediately and get clumpy.
- Pour everything from the bowl into the crock pot.
- Add the drained macaroni and stir again.
- Cook on low for 3 hours. Stir every half hour to an hour… or whenever you remember. If you don’t, you’ll scorch some of the pasta/cheese but ultimately not the end of the world.
- Make yourself another cocktail. Hopefully by now you’ve at least finished the first one if not many. Continue making cocktails until it’s time to serve.
It turned out pretty good. Spicy, cheesy, and heavy as hell. I did grind some more peppercorn and salt over the top once plated. I was hoping for a more liquidy cheesy spread, but it was more clumpy – I’ll fix that next time. I’m pretty sure I’ve had 3 heart attacks and working on the 4th. In the future I would leave out the eggs, cut the butter in half, add a dash more whole milk and maybe swap out the chili oil for an extra half teaspoon of Sriracha. I also would probably layer seasoned breadcrumbs on the top and toss it under the broiler to give it a baked crust.
If you don’t like the spicy – just leave out the spicy stuff. Totally optional…. if you’re a pansy.
